Falling to Pieces
by kurt-york
Summary: Maybe it sounds cliché, but her world came crashing, burning, and the walls she had built carefully over the years slowly crumbled till all that was left were ashes.


**Disclaimer - don't own the characters or the song, characters belong to nick/dan, the song, break even, belongs to _the script_**

**changed some words in the song to match up betta with sam/freddie**

* * *

_I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing  
Just prayin' to a god that I don't believe in  
Cos I got time while he got freedom  
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even_

Alive. She was alive.

Maybe it sounds cliché, but her world came crashing, burning, and the walls she had built carefully over the years slowly crumbled till all that was left were ashes.

She should've seen it coming. Of course Carly would notice, notice the way that he was kind, compassionate, was willing to love (_her _at least), notice the way he stared at her gently, notice the way he'd do anything, _anything_ to help her.

Whenever Carly needed him, he'd be there with open arms.

He'd saved her life, and that's when Carly noticed.

Maybe she had it wrong the whole time.

Carly would fall for him; Carly would love him.

Who wouldn't?

-

_His best days will be some of my worst  
He's finally met a girl that's gonna put him first  
While I'm wide awake he's no trouble sleeping  
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven... even... no_

She sees them together.

There's nothing she can do this time, the hero phase has worn off, but Carly still notices.

She's alone in class, while Freddie and Carly are partnered together.

He's happy, wrapped up in his new relationship. Both of them are.

Which leaves her _alone_, and there's nothing she can do about it.

She's got a date with a smoothie and a sleepless night to look forward to.

-

_What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you,  
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok  
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,  
I'm falling to pieces_

He sees her, and she's "happy" for him (but he doesn't know the half of it).

Why is he disappointed?

His minds a mess; his thoughts are crashing, bumping, and he can't think straight.

He hasn't seen her around as much since he started dating Carly. But, he guesses she doesn't want to be around a couple all the time (but maybe, it's just _that_ couple she doesn't want to be around).

He doesn't laugh half as much as he used to (he blames it on the fact that school is stressing him out, but he knows it's because she was the one that made him laugh the hardest).

He thinks that maybe, he misses her (a lot more than he'd like to admit).

-

_They say bad things happen for a reason  
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding  
Cos he's moved on while I'm still grieving  
And when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven even... no_

She wonders why her life is so screwed up.

She wonders why Carly's is so perfect.

Maybe if she had worn skirts, maybe if she liked the color pink, maybe if she dressed up more often, maybe if she was nicer, maybe if she _hadn't been herself _he'd love her.

She's smart; she knows there's no use in crying or wasting time thinking about something that can't be changed.

But she still wonders.

-

_What am I gonna to do when the best part of me was always you,  
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok  
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,  
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,  
I'm falling to pieces  
I'm falling to pieces  
(Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)_

How ironic that it's when he's on a date with Carly that he realizes: he's not in love with her.

She didn't make him laugh, she didn't make him hurt, she didn't make him feel that explosion, that contrast of emotions that _she_ always made him feel, and he misses it, he misses it so much it hurts.

He thinks that maybe he's crazy, because he's giving up what he has with Carly, this perfect, kind and giving girl for someone spontaneous, someone crazy, someone who's not afraid to tell him the truth (but that's what he always loved about her in the first place).

-

_Oh you got her heart and my heart and none of the pain  
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.  
Now I'm try'na make sense of what little remains ooh  
Cos you left me with no love and no love to my name._

She's watching useless reality shows, splayed out on the couch.

She's empty, and she hates, _hates_ that he can do that to her.

She doesn't even see her best friend anymore, because she's too busy "going to see a movie with Freddie" or, she's saying "sorry Sam, I can't, Freddie's helping me study for that chemistry test", because with a relationship comes not only being a couple, but also being _best friends_.

_What does that leave her with? _

She doesn't cry, crying is useless, stupid.

She's numb, devoid of emotions (and maybe it's better that she can't feel the pain).

-

_I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing  
Just prayin' to a god that I don't believe in  
Cos I got time while he got freedom  
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break  
No it don't break  
No it don't break even no_

Maybe, maybe it's meant to be. Carly and Freddie just might be forever (and it kills her that it's most likely true).

Maybe, it's time for her to let go (even if she doesn't want to).

So she does.

-

_What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you and  
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok  
I'm falling to pieces yeah  
I'm falling to pieces yeah  
I'm falling to pieces  
(Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)_

He's running, Carly's told him the address to Sam's house and he feels free.

His feet are pounding the pavement and he's running so fast his sides hurt, but he doesn't care.

He's reached her house.

He's banging on the door and his heart is beating so fast he feels like he's going to explode and he loves it.

"Sam…SAM!!"

-

_Oh it don't break even no  
Oh it don't break even no  
Oh it don't break even no_

She opens the door, half a fat cake hanging out of her mouth.

"Freddie? What are you doing here? How do you know my address?"

"Sam, I," he stops, out of breath, "I just came to tell you something."

"Well, I don't have all day…"

"I was on a date with Carly and I realized: I'm not in love with her."

She's catching on to what he's saying and she wants to believe, but she can't, because being rejected would break her even more (was it possible to be even more broken?).

"Look Freddie, you're delusional, you don't want me; you want Carly. I'm rude, I beat up on you, I tell you shit you don't want to hear, I'm a tomboy…"

He cuts her off, "and you hate, _hate_, the color pink, you're favorite color's green, because it's fresh and reminds you of childhood, you're crazy, you make me crazy, nothing's ever planned out with you, no one can piss me off like you do, you help me learn from my mistakes, you make me laugh, so hard that I can't stop and I love it."

He stops to breathe, "Sam, I should've realized it sooner, I'm crazy about you."

She thinks that maybe, her heart is whole again.


End file.
